Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Lo siento on account of my penis...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
