she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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