You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
