i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
