if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
