My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
