is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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