Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How's work?
Spinning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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