so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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