i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
