My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
