Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
