Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
