I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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