so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im part way to drunk.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
