Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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