So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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