Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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