I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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