I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hippo gnu deer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
