We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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