Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
