So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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