how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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