i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
