who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
