no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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