Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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