Do you still have your period?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
