Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
