You really coming over, don't trick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
