My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
