How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you never un-have a 4some
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
