Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
