so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They took my balls.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
