If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
