At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
