it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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