I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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