Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
