we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I pour the whiskey from now on
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm always down for nudity.
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