Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
