need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
