How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
3pm strippers are depressing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
