he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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