you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
