That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think my moral compass just broke
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