Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
