I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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