That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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