i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
