you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
