Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
