Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
